Why I Love Pontius

She says things like this:

Me (to Katelin): "Uhh, those things are so good!"
Pontius (wandering into the room): "You're so good.... That's what Ryan Awesome said."

...and this:

"I'm a drunk 14 year-old with spiked chocolate milk!"

.....and the Quote of the Day:

"Okay, if dicks tasted like blue raspberry, I would be a whore."

Finally...the Summer Haus...We Meet at Last

So. Here I am. In Covington, Kentucky. We'll just say Cincinnati.

I've moved here for the summer because I have no where to live in SF. Out of my options (Portland, Delaware, living in the Summer Haus with my friends), this was definitely the best one.

However...I think I may have too blatantly believed my sister's rantings about this place. This is most definitely the shittiest, smallest town I've ever lived in. And so far, I am terribly bored by all of their friends. Hmm....we'll see.

We live above a bookstore/coffee shop. That's kinda nice. There's gay porn lit and I think I might buy it.

Yeah. Can you tell I miss San Francisco?

.....beauty in the breakdown...

Every once in a while, a feeling of urgency takes me over from the waist up. In my head and in my heart and my guts and my soul. I can't believe I am letting all this time go by without you in my life. Wasting time that we could be together, enjoying each other. Because there really is only so much time. There is an overwhelming need to call you up and say, "Seriously, come home now. Please. This is stupid."

But then I have to remind myself that I am, actually, only eighteen. And eighteen, no matter how old I feel when there isn't a reflection to remind me, is still quite young. I am very young, I tell myself. There is (should be) still so much time to live and make decisions. I can't (shouldn't) honestly create such a concrete and deep emotional commitment at such an early stage in my life. There's still so much time to learn and grow and change. Don't lock yourself in just yet, I say.

Not that it's quite up to me, anyway.

The sensation of your skin --the temperature, the texture, the humidity, the colors-- has been very acute tonight.

Exactly One Year Ago

Over the summer he told me that his grandma, who made him meatballs, was up in heaven and that she would take care of you. He said she would rock you in her rocking chair until one of us came to get you.



I never see any butterflies in the city.
.