five.

Two days late, and guilt.

Saturday I was shopping. I thought about how much easier it was, doing that without you. I thought if you were here, I wouldn't be at the mall. I'd be cleaning up after your birthday party, you'd be playing with your new toys. I would have said, "Your birthday is on a Saturday this year! All your friends will be able to come to your party!"

I thought about you. But I couldn't feel it. It was all in my head. A strange blessing.

The more time that passes, the harder I am finding it to believe that you ever actually

were.


(This is a terrible marking.)