reprise

Just now, I am sitting on my bed in my little school apartment, recapping a reading selection for class, when I suddenly catch a whiff of you. I don't know whether it is a real scent or a striking memory, and it is only there for a flash, but it brings small tears rising up in my eyes. I close them, scrunched, and pinch my nose. I am always a little surprised at how vividly you are still here. My brain has locked on to little pieces of you in a way that amazes my mind. But I have accepted it, and the feeling recedes into its back-burner throb almost as quickly as it presented itself.
_____________________________________________

My sister's boyfriend dumped her several months ago. She spends an unhealthy amount of time in bed wearing one of his t-shirts. She says she expected him to be there forever. She says she feels like half of herself is gone. She says they are the male/female versions of each other.

You were never any boyfriend of mine, but the only thing I have to say in response is that that might never go away. So my lips, and fingertips, stay still.