(cheating)

This is the end, beautiful friend.

This is the end, my only friend.

The end of our elaborate plans.

The end of everything that stands.

The end.

No safety or suprise.

The end.

I'll never look into your eyes again.


I finally told Adam off. But nicely, I think. Everything I needed to say to him, should have said years ago. I think this time the door might actually be closed, for goodgoodgood.

This moment was a long time coming, and I just finally reached the point where I could let go. Fuck.

Feels weird.

Got an email from him. Thought about it for a few days. Sat down and wrote it out. Clicked send.

Sounds so easy, yeah?

He is a memory of freedom, of life, of utter happiness, of home, and of pain. (screaming, bleeding pain, like a piece of my soul had been taken) I suppose I'll feel that stabbing/happy nostalgia till the day I die.

He gave me something, but when he tried to take it back he took some of me with it and I'll never again be who I was the moment before he crossed the street to stand under our window, shouting up William Blake at my request.

I was such a fool.