7:12AM, marlboros while barefoot in the driveway

Why does your mouth taste so much better after kissing someone who's just smoked a cigarette than when you've just smoked a cigarette?

Mysteries of the universe.

demand.screaming absences

I want someone to hold my hand, look me in the eye, and acknowledge that all my demons are real.

Decision

I want someone to kiss me because they love me.

It's been a while.

Smilin' In the Pictures You Would Take

The summer of 2007 is over.

The Summer Haus is over.

So is my life.

Rational.

more like wishing

I feel like...if I don't do anything....don't make any plans, don't find a place, don't apply for school....that as the summer ends, I'll just dissolve....disintegrate......smudge, run, and disappear like a wet painting in the rain.

Then I won't have to do anything.

Shit.

Lack of independence.

Not that I would be able to handle that anyway. Hello, I have spent nineteen complete years alive and I still do not know how to take care of myself, even on the most basic levels.

A sharp yank jerks me backwards and I remember that there is still a collar around my neck, hooked to a leash leading back to hands I'd rather forget.

I'm not going back to San Francisco.

Cue tears, pacing, swearing, outright sobbing, shouting, and plunging into a deeper state of depression.

I'm wrapped in a sheer gauze of misery and I've never missed bum cum and sirens so much.



Oh, and my birthday's in two weeks.

I may as well just die and get it over with.