Questions

Today, in the car, in the rain, in the bright afternoon, Atlas held my hand and asked if I really want to marry him (per usual).

I said yes, and he asked what I was most looking forward to about being married to him. I thought about it a moment and said, "Coming home to you every day. . . and getting to sleep with you every night." Pause. "Is that a good enough answer?" (Half-tease.)

He said yes, and so I asked, slightly nervously, what about him?

He said, "
drinking hot cider or cocoa with you in the winter and watching the Olympics on TV
going on walks together
talking about more than just the day-to-day stuff
"

and I think, he wants me to be there, with a warm glow in my stomach, just be there for everything.

"
you're the first person I've ever been with who's actually encouraged me to. . . do the things that I like. . . like play computer games, to relax, even if it's something that doesn't hold value to you
I like that

and I like it when you sing to me
Sometimes I just hear you singing as you do things around the house
I like that a lot
"

Today was a point-and-click snapshot of true, honest, deep love. It was holy. Sacred. I trembled in the knowledge that this love is for me, bestowed upon me, made from me, all around me. I trembled in the knowledge of his bravery; his deep, living heart; his very soul. The nakedness of the moment was something I felt honored, in awe of, to experience.

God has blessed my soul with the gift of Atlas. He is the redemption for everything I've suffered, all the pain of my past. Is that too bold? How could he not be?

(A dangerous question to ask.)