notsoGood News

"Some people say that depression feels like a black curtain of despair coming down over their lives. Many people feel like they have no energy and can't concentrate. Others feel irritable all the time for no apparent reason. . . Most people who have gone through one episode of depression will, sooner or later, have another one. You may begin to feel some of the symptoms of depression several weeks before you develop a full-blown episode of depression." -from a page on depression.com

I was sitting on my bed, by myself, reading some information on this website. In the middle of the night, doing homework, very quiet, feeling quite solitary. I finished the last sentence in the excerpt posted above. I stopped reading. I started crying.

"I hate living like this," I thought.

I'm so tired. I identify with that last sentence too much.

I dried my eyes.

Hey. You had really started to convince me that it was possible that I might be happy again, in the future...you ridiculous, nameless boy.

But you've gone flat and unreachable, and I find less motivation to answer "maybe not" when I quietly wonder, "Will it always be like this?"



*sigh* Is it possible for me to kick myself in the ass, for once? That would be nice.