"What's the reason everybody came tonight...?"

"...The motherfucking Matches!!!!"

I saw the Matches at Slim's last night. Siiiiiiiiiigh. Such a fab show. Such a fab band! They're my rock & roll herooooooooos.

Highlights:
*I got in even though the show was sold out and I came with no tickets.
*There was a sexy guitar tech (who actually just turned out to be one of those dudes who helps set up equipment).
*Escape the Fate has one hell of a pretty guitarist. With artfully done eyeliner and very straight hair.
*The aforementioned band's frontman lead everyone in screaming "Fuck!" repeatedly.
*I managed to work my way up to where there were only two people in front of me by the time the Matches came on, and without too much difficulty, as well.
*Um, Shawn Harris is ridiculously bedroom. (It's the new word!) Of course, heavily influenced by the fact that he was wearing white patent leather dress shoes, black dress pants, a black and white striped button-down with a black or dark gray vest and turquoise silk scarf tied around his up-turned collar. Of course the requisite eyeliner, and hair is still black, shorter, messy, both sides match. I wish I could steal his closet whole.
*Everyone sitting down for the quiet part of Audio Blood. Love the Bay Area!
*At least half the people there had seen them before they got signed, and they all started chanting "L3." Ahh. Love.
*Shawn counted us off, then let us start Dog-Eared Page. =)
*Right before the lyrics start in Salty Eyes, he goes, "I need a chorus! I need a chorus here!" and I must say, we provided a rather nice one.
*They played My Soft and Deep (yay!) and Shawn did the heavy breathing thing at the end whilst leaning out over the audience and it was very hot.
*The entire Matches show. What else can I say? It was fucking amazing.
*I thought Shawn was wearing sort of shimmery, iridescent pants. But during their encore (Sick Little Suicide), he threw himself out into the audience and got passed back up to the stage right over my area. I put my hands up to help, and then I realized that they were regular pants, they were just wet! So was his shirt. Woohoo! Hardcore!

Lowlights:
*So many people there were wearing terrible clothes!
*Everyone was 15.
*All three of the opening bands (The Higher, I Am Ghost, Escape the Fate) sucked ass.
*I got pummeled with the fists and bony little elbows of the pubescent couple behind me, especially Pubescent Girlfriend. I suspect this is because they overheard me telling Crystal via cellphone that I was stuck next to The Most Annoying Couple Here. I actually have some light bruises on the backs of my arms.
*Butterfly Girl was on stage!
*I was presented with the lead singer of Escape the Fate's (or was it I Am Ghost? they kind of meld together...) butt, butt crack, or crotch, literally inches from my face (if not on my face/head), on several occasions. This is what comes of crowd surfing, I guess.
*Suddenly, Escape the Fate busts into this awful song....and it was the song about playing Russian Roulette! I was so sad! I made this immense connection in my head of Butterfly Girl playing it repeatedly in the computer room at the dorm, and her being on stage, and...AHHH!!! If you've never heard it, don't go look it up. It sucks hairy monkey boyparts and I'd probably rather listen to Green Day than it. How could such a gorgeous-looking boy be in such a shitty, shitty band?
*Shawn suggested that anyone who thought they could dance better than Jon come up and they'd have a dance contest, but then they didn't actually do it. Sad.
*They didn't sing You (Don't) Know Me, so no kick-ass noise. =(
*There were girls in front of me at one point who were wearing their long hair down!!! I almost said something (snarky) to them, but I figured they'd probably already realized what a dumb idea that was.

Other Notable Notes:
*I walked through the shady area of Market St. in a spaghetti-strap tank top, by myself, there and back, and only got propositioned twice! And they were not even bad ones. What a dream!
*Sexy Guitar Tech also plays drums!
*I'm pretty sure the lead singer of the Higher picked some of his moves off one William Beckett. ???
*The lead singer of I Am Ghost was really ugly and had really bad hair. It was a shocking combination.
*Butterfly Girl was with the ugly lead singer of I Am Ghost. =D
*Aforementioned band had three guys come out wearing ghost costumes -yes, sheets with eyes cut out- and jump around the stage during their first song. One of the guys' sheet got turned around and he couldn't see. He fell into the audience. =)
*The lead singer of Escape the Fate started screaming and cursing at the sound lady when his monitor went out, as did several members of the audience. For a long time. "We're not playing another fucking song until she turns my fucking monitor back on!" And the audience going, "Yeah! Fuck that bitch, Ronnie! Fuck her!!!" It was a little extreme. Before their last song he said, "So this is probably the last time we're ever gonna play here," and one of their guitarists came up to him and said something and shook his head and looked really upset. I believe him.
*My right arm fell asleep for a good 15-20 minutes, we were all pressed in so close together.
*A girl next to me passed out and didn't wake up for a while. I am really glad that I am not friends with the guy she was with, as he really did not seemed all that concerned and didn't do much to help her, not even hold her head up so she could get fresh(er) air.
*I wondered why everyone didn't just strip and have a big orgy. I mean, you can have sex with someone and be further away from them than we all were from each other. And everybody was all sweaty and slippery. A guy behind me said, "I've touched so many crotches tonight!" I felt like I'd raped about 12 people. It was intense, one of the most intense shows I've ever been to, space- and breathing-wise.
*Me and this freckly kid to my left were grinding hardcore for awhile, but it was because we were mad at each other and vying for the same spot. =D I love how, at shows, suddenly everything goes when you're trying to get to or stay at the front.
*Quite a few people were screaming for Eryn Smith, but they never played it.
*I Am Ghost had a chick on electric violin, who was not-surprisingly uncool, but she came out and played for Salty Eyes, so that was fun.
*They played Didi and instead of "Los Angeles is less than I longed for," he said, "San Francisco is everything that I longed for." =P
*He also sang what I assumed to be My Doe, Part 1. Fun!
*When I left, there was not a dry spot left on my clothing, anywhere. Not because I got water poured on me. Because of sweat.
*I found strings of long curly black hair and long blonde hair between my tits and in my pants when I got home.

I think that's about it. Geesh, my vocabulary has really degenerated. It currently consists mostly of words that get starred out when quoted in the newspaper. That's kind of sad.

So, end cap, I love the Matches. And I hope they're not actually fornicating with their mothers.

Unrelated:
I look sooooooo good right now. Why do I always look the best when I'm not going to see anyone? I hate Murphy and his stupid law.