Can you say "lost"?

There has been a recent trend among my fellow Blogspot'rs (read: 2) to pledge to post every day. Personally, I think this is a little over-zealous. Not only will they not do it (believe me, I know these people), is it really necessary that I hear from these people every day? I mean, you'd have to be pretty quirky to come up with something worth reading every day. But hey, if it works out, I won't be complaining. These are the type of people who currently update so infrequently you begin to forget their URL. And they're making such outlandish promises because they know they never post and they feel guilty.

(This is leading into the point, I promise.) Now, I know the above paragraph is a little. . . bitter? Scathing? Self-righteous? Well, whatever. Suck it up. Besides, I'm not that mad, I do it too. For all my berating, I have become as non-existent (electronically speaking) as the rest of them. I'd wear a shirt that says "I'M A HYPOCRITE" just to give people a warning up-front, but it's not exactly my style. Too. . . tacky. Anyway, this is not a post about blatant, verbally descriptive t-shirts and the people who wear them, this is a post about my lack of posting.

Part 1: Admission of Guilt: To all the people I complain to for not posting, I know that I don't post either. I'm just putting this out there. I am fully aware of and far from guilt-free about my own lack of posting.

Part 2: Excuses, Excuses: I feel like I have nothing to say. (Sorry, interruption. Please tell me why, when I looked up synonyms for "berate," did Thesaurus.com offer "eat out"?? As slang, even! Uh..... Now back to your regularly scheduled program?) This, of course, is not true. I have plenty to say, daily. Examples:

-I am thankful for my thumbs.
-I opened a checking account at Wells Fargo today (this could actually be expanded upon to make an entire entry, no joke).
-I have found the New H. and the New John Wise.
-The New H. and the New John Wise are in the same class.
-It is weird. And seriously self-esteem-lowering.
-I get free drinks at Chipotle!
-Rasputin Music files the Matches in the punk section. Take that, yee who snootily declareth the Matches as not punk enough!

You get the idea. So what am I saying? I don't know. I guess that I feel like if it's not deep, important and profound it's not worth saying. That I feel empty, devoid of meaning, and that every time I log in and click "NEW POST" I just stare into this stupid, blank box feeling depressed and wordless, stupid, blinking cursor mocking my. . . my what? My mental illness? My [heavily-quoted] "mental illness"? My laziness? Lack of energy? Absent-mindedness? Am I a)-too hard on myself, or b)-always placing the blame on anything else I can find. . . or somewhere in-between?

See? This is what happens. I get all introspective-y, completely lose myself in myself and end up having no idea as to what I was originally going for. I'm selfish, self-obsessed, narcissistic, megalomaniacal, stuck-up, arrogant as the Devil himself. . . and I'm trying not to apologize so much.

//sarcasm// on that last bit, chicas (y chicos, sorry Chris).

Part 3: Intent to Reform: I'm going to try. I feel a little fragile. But I'll try.

Part 4: Conclusion: I want to post more. I really do.